The Chat Rooms' Midnight Pink Menace
by Dattebayo Devon
Summary: Oneshot Izaya X Mikado. What do you do when you're tired and there's some strange stalker after you - both online and in real life? Wow that was a lame summary... trust me though it's funnier than it sounds here! M for language and implied situations.


**AN: Well, mostly I, Foxy, wrote this. Kitty couldn't get past "knock, knock." Kitty tends to be silly in her works, so up until the "knock knock" it's really kind of silly (don't take the subject matter too seriously; I tried to make it more serious in this re-write). Please don't take this seriously. At all. Its these kinds of things that happen when we're really too giddy, up too late, and out of our minds. [We should really post the ninja-cat invasion one sometime…]**

**Also, I am a dodo, I can't read Japanese (a few characters but not enough to know wfhat's going on), and I have no clue what Erika's and Walker's screen-names are, or even if they have any, so when we get to that, understand that "Rika" stands for Erika and "Skywalker" stands for Walker. Yeah, they match their real names, haha (Kitty is telling me how lame they are). **

**Anyways enjoy! I've tried to keep it short 'cause Kitty really complains when I write things that are dozens of chapters long. This is … well, I've seen so many strange combinations of their names for the yaoi label that I don't know which one's best … ugh. Oh well, Izaya X Mikado. XD**

**Oh yes, if you haven't watched it, then you probably should. There's spoilers in here (or are there?).**

* * *

**The Chat Room's Midnight Pink Menace**

**A Durarara! Fanfiction by Kitty & Foxy**

**DISCLAIMER: We do not in any way own the characters/scenes/… oh you know the drill I'm sure.**

Mikado sighed as he finally reached his apartment, slacking his shoulders as he fished around in his school bag for his apartment keys. It had been a long day, almost too long. Kida-kun had insisted that they stay out and "hit on girls," though Kida was doing the hitting and he and their friend, Anri, just hung back and let Kida do his thing.

He entered his apartment and set his bag down on the desk, slumping down in the chair and pressing the button on the computer screen to turn it on. _Geez … it's nearly midnight, and I still have homework I have to do!_ Inwardly, he was blaming Kida, but knew it wasn't really Kida's fault. _It's my fault for going along with it._

The computer let out a _beep_! indicating that it finished loading. He then slumped forward, and typed in his password. _I should probably check out Dollars before I do anything, make sure that it's still not doing anything out of line …_

That's right, Mikado was the creator of Dollars. Although, now two people had discovered not long ago that he was. One was a Dullahan and the other was just… a strange person. _That girl in charge of the pharmacy knows, too_… he mentally added.

Almost as soon as he had logged on, Kanra (also known the previously mentioned "strange person," or named Orihara Izaya) had initiated a chat with him.

KANRA: You want to know the latest news on the streets?

Mikado decided that he would listen; after all, Orihara was good at getting information. He began typing:

TANAKO TARO: What? Is it about Dollars? Or the head of the Yagiri Pharmaceuticals?  
TANAKO TARO: Or maybe the Slasher?  
KANRA: No. I've heard that there's another group that's been conducting kidnapping as well, but not for experiments.  
TANAKO TARO: Then what?  
KANRA: Cannibalism. **(1)**

Mikado couldn't help but sweat-drop.

TANAKO TARO: …Cannibalism?  
KANRA: Right.  
TANAKO TARO: How long has _this_ been going on?  
KANRA: Who can say? I'm still looking into it.  
TANAKO TARO: It's probably only a matter of time before someone we know goes missing, especially with all these kidnapping groups running around …  
KANRA: You probably ought to knock on wood now.

Mikado raised one of his eyebrows, confused by the new statement.

TANAKO TARO: …Why?  
KANRA: A little superstition. You don't want to jinx yourself.

Now he simply felt his eyebrow twitch. _I knew he liked mind games, but this is just stupid…_ After a moment of remaining silent online, Orihara started writing again.

KANRA: You didn't do it, did you?  
TANAKO TARO: Why would I?  
KANRA: For the hell of it.

_That sounds like something he'd say._ He sighed. For the heck of it, as he knew that it wouldn't matter if he did or not, he jokingly rapped his knuckles loudly twice on his desk. _Knock, knock!_

_KNOCK, KNOCK!_

Mikado nearly jumped out of his skin as two knocks – from somewhere else – came in return. Startled, he stood up, looking for where they might have come from. They hadn't come from his front door; they must have come from the opposite direction. Hearing no other knocks, he sighed, sat back down at his desk, and decided it must have been a coincidence. _Maybe the neighbors or something…_

TANAKO TARO: There, for the hell of it.  
KANRA: You know, you probably still haven't scared away the demons.  
TANAKO TARO: …

That was when Mikado decided to get off the computer. He wasn't really in the mood for mind games, especially Orihara's. He closed the chat screen and shut it down, standing up and sighing. He had homework to do, anyways…

_KNOCK, KNOCK!_

This time, the knock _really _caught him off-guard. He stumbled backwards, falling back against the desk, hitting his head against the edge of it and knocking the papers off the top. He winced in pain and grunted as he grasped the probably-bruised part of his skull with his hands, curling up and grinding his teeth together. _Damn it... what the hell is that knocking?_

It had come from the window, hadn't it? Maybe something was rubbing against the glass, or maybe some darn bird decided pecking near the apartment would be fun. He got up, still rubbing the sore spot on his head, and walked over towards the window. The blinds were down, and it was probably nothing, but he knew he wouldn't get any rest until he was _certain_ that it was nothing. **(2)**

_Okay, deep breath, count backwards… 5 … 4 … 3 … 2 … 1 …_

Mikado yanked the string to pull up the blinds, and his face turned pale white for a split second as he registered what he saw.

…_Izaya?_

Orihara. Orihara Izaya was standing almost right outside the window, smiling in with … a creepy, goofy smile. You know, the kind you wouldn't trust. He was there with his jacket all buttoned up, but Mikado couldn't see much more in the night time.

After the fear and initial shock left Mikado, he opened up the window by sliding the glass up and began to yell in his high-pitched, frightened voice. "W-What are you doing outside my window?" _What the heck is wrong with him? I think he gets a kick out of scaring people … _"A-and weren't you just online a second ago?"

Izaya, still with that obnoxious smile, held up his cell phone. "There's a little problem."

_Problem? I doubt it …_

"My cell phone battery wass about to die, and I was in the neighborhood and since we were in the middle of talking I decided why not finish it in person?"

Mikado felt his eyebrow twitch. _He's a strange one, all right … no wonder Kida warned me about him._ "Fine, come in … go around to the door." He quickly shut the window as well as the blinds, not really anxious to see any more of Izaya, and headed over towards the front door. _But Izaya seems like he's nice enough, he's just not exactly… socially accepted._

Just as he reached the door, he wondered if he should even open it. Izaya was unpredictable… _"Don't let a demon or a ghost in." Is this another one of his stupid mind games? It is, isn't it? Well, I won't fall for it this time, I'll just play the game as well _– he thought as he turned the knob and opened the door, but his thoughts halted faster than he thought possible.

There stood Izaya Orihara. The supposed man that everyone was better off avoiding. He had pulled his jacket zipper down so that it slid off his exposed shoulders, and there stood the man. With a pink dress on. That ended about mid-thigh. And heels too. He had big pink heels on.

It was one of those moments where Mikado's mind went blank and his jaw dropped.

"Well now, seems like you like it." That smirk snapped Mikado back to reality.

"A-A-Are you insane? Get out--!" _WHAT IS HE, A TRANSVESTITE? I bet even Kida doesn't know about this …_Mikado attempted to slam the door on him, but Izaya was of course, crafty enough to stick his foot far enough in to keep it from shutting. Besides, even though the situation at the time didn't seem to prove it, Izaya was a LOT stronger. He kept the door open, and came in with that smirk on his face.

Mikado didn't know _what _to do. Who would if a transvestite suddenly showed up at your door? He fumbled as he backed up, clueless as to both what was going on and _why_ it was happening. His mind went blank when Izaya still came forward. That glint in the crazy man's eyes as he looked down at him … what the hell was that?

Izaya slung his arms lightly around Mikado's shoulders; it was odd, especially since Izaya was so much _taller_ than him. He then felt a finger trail along his chin. "It's not that easy to get rid of me, you know."

Before he was able to protest or shout at Izaya, he felt something _warm _press against his lips. Before he knew it, he was locked in a passionate kiss with Izaya, Izaya of course, taking the lead. Mikado's felt his mind become overloaded with too many questions – and semi-answers – and he felt overwhelmed.

The elder pulled back, saliva dripping down from his lips. Mikado's face was bright red, probably from both lack of oxygen and his severe confusion. He couldn't help but stutter a few nonsensical sentences, trying to look away from Izaya. _Wha- wha – what the hell--?_

Then a _chuckle – A CHUCKLE_ – came out from Izaya. But what was strange about this chuckle is that it sounded… _girly._ "Seems like you know my _real_ problem now."

Mikado suddenly found the words he was looking for, despite being flustered, backing away the best he could but Izaya kept his arms locked around him. "P-Problem? Yo-you're a f-fucking pedophile!"

Izaya cocked his head, a bizarre expression crossing his face. "Pedophile?" Izaya then lifted his left foot back, and kicked the front door shut behind them. Satisfied with the "privacy," he then snuggled up close against Mikado, only causing Mikado to fluster more. "I wouldn't say that. I'd say it's more like … an interesting game."

_GAME?_

"Truth be told, I always thought I'd fall for someone older. But…" _There's that smirk again!_ He felt the fingers trail down his spine, causing him to shiver slightly, "it looks like you're the winner."

He felt a bead of sweat travel down his face, his eyebrow twitching again. "W-Winner?"

He didn't really like the expression Izaya displayed next. "You're smart, you're cute, and you're my type of woman: _man._"

Mikado felt a … sneaky little _grope_, causing him to snap back to the present situation and ignore the reeling wheels in his mind. _H-hey, hold on, don't I get a say in this? I'm being molested by a creep in a pink dress for crying out loud--!_

He really, really wanted to fight what was going on, but his body wouldn't fight; shame be told, his body wanted to accept it. He felt a whimper come out as he felt his own body start to become sexually… attentive.

"Looks like you want to too, huh?" Izaya smirked, starting to lead Mikado backwards.

Inner Mikado was crying. _Damn, I'm really going to get molested, aren't I…?_

"Come on, let's go somewhere where you'll be more comfortable. It's easy to tell you're a virgin." That stupid smirk was back. That stupid smile was back.

But then Mikado felt another thought cross his mind. _Wait, does that mean he is or isn't? _If he could turn redder, he would, but he somehow doubted that was possible.

But then came what seemed like a _genuine _smile. "Come on, Mika-chan … I'll be gentle."

Once more, they locked in a passionate kiss; this time Mikado didn't try to resist.

Different chatroom, three days later:

* * *

--Enter Bakyura--

Bakyura: Looking for personal advice.

--Enter Rika--

Rika: Yo! Long time no see!

--Enter Skywalker--

Skywalker: Hey, Bakyura!

Bakyura: Hey. You two know much about people behaving strangely?

Rika: Depends on what you mean by that.

Bakyura: Well it seems like a friend has COMPLETELY lost interest in this girl he totally had a crush on! He adamantly refuses to go girl-hunting with me anymore too!

Skywalker: You sure he hasn't found another girlfriend!

Bakyura: Not one that I've seen!

Rika: Has he been doing anything else odd?

Bakyura: Yes. He's constantly zoning out - well, he does do that naturally, but he's been doing it now more than ever. And he was even talking about really, really strange things in class one day. Asking all these deep questions about whether or not it was right to love a creep. I hope he didn't mean the girl he liked! She's no creep or stalker! Not that I know of... he's always got this weird happy expression now, but it's creeping me out!

Rika: Sounds like he's been getting laid.

Skywalker: ...

Bakyura: ...

Rika: What? It does!

Bakyura: Bye, I'm going to go talk to him.

--Exit Bakyura--

Skywalker: was that necessary?

Rika: Well, sounds like he's getting laid by a guy to me. And that's something I want to see!

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**(1)** Foxy: This is what I mean about Kitty being silly. This fanfiction was a LOT sillier in its first shot, but I'd feel really stupid posting that (I like writing on a higher level) so I made it sound more serious than we first made it out to be.

**(2)** Kitty: Haha, this is actually Foxy's biggest fear, borderline phobia. She can't STAND looking out windows at night time 'cause she thinks that there's going to be a floating head out there or something. She really does go nuts when she thinks something's out there (don't prank her, she probably WILL rip your face off).

**Special Note:** We didn't describe the dress too much because we figured we'd leave that up to your imaginations. :) Add frills or whatever at your own.

**Another Special Note:**This is technically the first real "scenes," if you can even call it that, that we've posted so sorry if you were expecting more.


End file.
